Ten years of being able to eat toast with vegemite and nuttelex, without fear of crumbs, cancer or excessive Australianness, whenever I want.

A small journey

Let me take you on a little journey I went on this evening.

Step 1. I rewatched Kung Fu Hustle. I love that movie. It's the first (and possibly only) Chinese slapstick comedy that hasn't made me want to punch myself repeatedly in the neck.

Step 2. I wonder what Stephen Chow's up to?

Step 3. Oh, my. He's in a remake of The Green Hornet, an old radio serial I love dearly, about a masked superhero whose powers are limited to a car, a gun and a the original martial arts valet, Kato. Bruce Lee's shoes will be hard to fill.

Step 4. The Green Hornet is being played by Seth bloody Rogen.

Step 5. It's being directed by Michel goddamn Gondry.

Step 6: Cannot process: Integer divided by zero.

Benalla Side Salad

As DJ pointed out, there's no point whinging about the gentle demise of Livejournal if you never post anything.

So, I'm posting Esther's recipe for Benalla Side Salad, something she probably learned during her recent enforced stay there.

Benalla Side Salad


Canned pineapple
Canned corn niblets in large can
Over-cooked shell-pasta
Finely grated carrot
No more than two actual lettuce leaves
1 large slice of canned beetroot
1 cup of extra creamy mayonnaise
1-2 tomato wedges
8 Coon cheese cubes
Diced Spam/ham

Preparation time: 4 days.

1. Microwave pineapple, corn niblets, the two lettuce leaves and shell pasta on high for 3 min; reserve corn niblet juice in can.
2. Desicate the grated carrot under a commercial grade hand dryer for 10 minutes.
3. Add pineapple, corn niblets, pasta, dessicated carrot, tomato, lettuce and Coon cheese cubes to the reserved corn niblets juice in can. Marinate in the fridge for 3 days.
4. Drain contents thoroughly, gently set the two lettuce leaves aside.
5. Place ingredients in small fancy glass bowl or one of those small plastic hospital bowls.
6. If customer has ordered the salad as a vegetarian option, add the diced spam/ham.
7. Cover ingredients with mayonnaise, taking care to hide the spam/ham.
8. Garnish with the two lettuce leaves and slice of beetroot.
9. Refrigerate further for 1 day and serve.



Last week, Greg and I drove up to our property in Clonbinane, between Whittlesea and Wallan. Peter and I last went up there about a year ago, after an absence of about fifteen years. We used to go up nearly every weekend as a family, to muck about with fires and sticks and getting covered in burrs along the creek. We had grand plans to build a house, but then our mother got bitten by a tick and somehow she just never found the time to go back. Over the intervening years, the whole property was taken over by a woody shrub, which someone identified for us as Kunzea ericoides, variously known as burgan, kanuka or white tea-tree. We referred to it as 'that horrible stuff'. It gradually muscled out the trees, even the bracken, until the whole place was just a sea of evil pointy branches waiting to smack you in the face.

It all looked very different last week.

Collapse )


How could I possibly argue with these randomly generated resolutions? Magnificent.

In 2009, matcha_pocky resolves to...
Overcome my secret fear of doing things.
Cut down to ten suffering fools a day.
Apply for a new stuff.
Give some webtests to charity.
Volunteer to spend time with chewy meringues.
Cut down on my relaxing.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions: