Nicole (matcha_pocky) wrote,

Tuesday morning Izzard

" ...and then we grow up and we end up doing things, the job thing, the career thing. The careers officer’d come to school- I mean, I ended up doing standup comedy- was gonna be in the Army, ended up doing standup comedy. Slightly different… slightly more makeup where I went. Army’s only got that night-time look and… it doesn’t work for me. No, it’s true! I like all that sort of running, jumping, standing still – “Oh, I can see you in a tree! (mocking sounds)”part of it, so standup comedy- vocation, you gotta go for that! You can’t just fall into it.

And there’s others like taxidermy! You can’t just go, “Oh, I was just working at the chip shop, and I just started stuffing animals with sand,” you know? You’ve gotta want to be! “I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. (mimes stuffing an animal) I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so it’s really quite tight.”

They should put more things in, not just sand, that gets boring. “Porridge, I’m doing this one with porridge!” (mimes stapling the stuffed animal shut) Staple gun…

“I’ve done your dog, it’s is finished. I filled it with porridge.” (flop)

“It’s a bit floppy…”

“Yeah, that’s porridge to you, you know? You’ve got a two-level effect.” "
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